Lake Diva

Good intentions. That is what I had when I posted my first two blogs...last year! I must ,and can only, improve.

Last week I spent a wonderful week at the University of Toronto as a guest teacher. It was a particularly meaningful experience as I was turned down by that institution many years ago. I bring this personal story up frequently with young singers because one needs to keep perspective with regards to being rejected OR accepted by programs. I auditioned for the opera school at U of T hot on the heels of finishing my Masters at UBC. Literally, on my way home from Vancouver! Perhaps I did a poor audition, perhaps they already had many sopranos( note that I didn't use the phrase 'too many sopranos' as we all know that that situation could never exist!) who knows what could have come into play. I was too devastated to ask for feedback from the 'no' so I will never know.

Ten months after this I screwed up my courage and auditioned for the COC chorus. I felt that it went well but there seemed to be a lot of whispering during my audition and after the U of T turn down I wasn't exactly feeling optimistic! The phone rang the next day and the person at the other end asked if I could come and sing for Mr. Mansouri ,the general director, the following day. I agreed and in a haze returned ,sang the same arias and was told although they had already selected singers for the Ensemble for the coming season they could offer me the training experience( no pay) and a full chorus contract! My life changed in that brief moment and while ,as the saying goes, the rest is history - the rest has been a life filled with the pleasure and hard work of being a singer.

We are constantly being assessed for various reasons: suitability for a role, for a program, for a positive review and so on. It is not easy but if you can keep your own counsel and surround yourself with knowledgable people who can give you honest and supportive feedback the path becomes clearer. I remember well an early experience with a critic. Pianist Michael McMahon and I were giving several recitals in California and one was with an important series in Pasadena. I was coming off of a cold and was rather intimidated by the pressure of this particular event,honestly I felt that I had just barely covered the bases during the performance. My manager called the next day and asked if I had seen the LA Times. I braced myself for her to tell me that they were dumping me or some such other outrageous imagined horror. She told me the review was great! I went out and got a copy of the paper- it was as though my mother had written the review! I realized in that moment that if I believed it and gave it credence then I would be lying to myself and would therefore have to believe every forth coming review-good, bad, or indifferent. Thank goodness Michael was there and was able to help with the truth of what took place, a more balanced view between my 'it was a disaster' and the media's 'she is the greatest thing since chocolate'. He is on my team and is one of those people on whom I have been able to rely for the truth for many years now and I am so grateful.

Meanwhile, back at U of T. I had a wonderful week listening and responding to the excellent singers there. Happy to be in the position of helpful experienced singer reflecting back to others beginning the journey.